Why don't we do the things we are capable of doing?
Of course, the answer to that question is different for everybody. But for everybody there IS an answer. And finding yours – I mean really, properly answering that question in detail – is one of the most profound things you can do for yourself.
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” Ancient Chinese proverb.
What do you want?
That’s not a goal…
Do you really believe that?
What are you afraid of?
You can often learn more about yourself by observing what you avoid than by what you actually do.
We all have things that worry or downright scare us – sometimes we’re not even fully aware of them. These things can undermine us by stealth, or they can blatantly disrupt our decision-making in life. The problem with fear is that it leads to avoidance. And the problem with avoidance is that it prevents us from discovering whether the things we fear are actually as threatening as we imagine them to be. I can take you through the process of identifying those things that might scare you and then gently and gradually help you to challenge them until you have reduced their influence over you.
Stressing out?
When we are stressed our bodies respond by releasing hormones that suppress many systems important to our long-term thriving. This includes our immune system, our reproductive drive, our ability to empathise, our capacity for analytical thinking, our sleep regulation… Essentially, when we are stressed, we are biologically programmed to be less creative, less compassionate towards others and less visionary in our thinking. Ironic really, since these are the very qualities which might help us to overcome the stressor. I can teach you strategies to better manage stress so that you are more able to be at your best during the most trying times.
Not all habits are bad!
Research shows that willpower is a limited (but renewable) commodity. Every decision we make drains our willpower. And every effortful action we take depletes it further. Being productive is not about increasing our willpower: it’s about directing it towards those things which are going to deliver positive outcomes for us. Yet too often we waste this precious resource on routine decisions and tasks. Establishing certain habits, routines and structures into our lives can allow us to make much more efficient use of the motivation and energy that is available to us each day.
Are you happy now?
Conventional wisdom suggests that if we work hard to achieve success, good things will happen to us and this in turn will lead to happiness and fulfilment. Happiness is seen as a reward for success. “I’ll be happy once I get that pay rise, that promotion, meet the perfect partner…” However, countless studies have shown over and over again that it actually works the other way round. Happiness is a much better predictor of success than success is of happiness. If you’re not enjoying the many benefits of happiness, it’s time to ask yourself why. I can help you to do this and assist you with taking the steps to move towards a happier you.